October
by Midnight Ryder
Summary: October...the plant life dies, the warmth of summer abandons...the darkness comes earlier too. But for Harry Potter, October is definitely his worst month for more painful reasons. HPHG Oneshot


**Title: October**

**Summary: October...the plant life dies, the warmth of summer abandons...the darkness comes earlier too. But for Harry Potter, October is definitely his worst month for more painful reasons. HPHG One shot.**

**A/N: Yes, another one shot. I really should start working on my stories, huh? Warning: Character death. Yes _another _one. I should really stop all of this angst, shouldn't I?**

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It was a chilly October afternoon. Harry Potter walked down a residential street; his feet treading over dry dead leaves. He trudged down the road, lost in memories.

_Harry ran as fast as his legs could take him as he chased none other than his best friend, Hermione Granger, through the residential park in her middle class neighborhood. He had come to stay at her house for the beginning of the summer. Ron would be picking them both up for the Burrow within days._

_He heard her loud laugh as she continued to flee him._

_He smiled. He had given her enough of a lead; he began to run faster and knocked her to the ground in an embrace from the back. A soft 'oomph' escaped her smiling rosy lips as she began to giggle again; flipping over to look at him._

_Her cheeks were flushed from running, her curly brown hair windblown, her warm chocolate eyes aglow. He felt his heart tug at the sight before him and hurriedly scrambled off his sixteen year old best friend._

_And as he stood up lending her a hand, his averted eyes never noticed the slight pain in hers._

O0o0O0o0O

_Graduation. Hundreds of the former Seventh Years all had received their certificates stating that they had graduated from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Harry sat between his two best friends Ron and Hermione, all wearing their ceremonial robes._

_Hermione had held his hand throughout the whole ceremony within a death grip._

_And when she was called up to accept her diploma, he was positive he could be heard cheering the loudest over the whole student body._

"_We did it," she whispered into his ear as Dumbledore made his closing speech._

_He smiled at her. "Yeah, it's hard to believe. We're on our own now."_

_Ron clapped him on the back forcefully. "It's over! No more ten feet rolls of parchment due on Goblin Wars, no more detentions with Snape, no nothing!" Apparently the ceremony had ended, because the entire Weasley Clan, and people such as Remus, Tonks, and Mad-Eye were rushing towards him, as was everyone else's family running to them with tears in their eyes._

_He was swept into hugs by multiple arms, everyone congratulating him and trying to start him into a separate conversation. He glanced at Hermione, and she stood to the side, a large grin upon her face._

_But he was distracted as he felt a soft tap on his shoulder to turn around and see his girlfriend, Cho. He smiled brilliantly at her and placed a tender kiss on her lips._

_He never noticed the lone tear that ran down his best friend's face as she quietly left with her parents._

O0o0O0o0O

_Harry grinned as he spotted Ron and Hermione waiting for him in a booth at the local muggle Italian restaurant. He waved as he rushed over, slipping his coat off, sitting down next to Hermione._

_He gave her a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek. He ignored the usual flip-flop that his stomach always did around her. He never went after pipe dreams. "Hey 'Mione. Hello, Ron." He said with another smile._

_He hadn't seen his friends for almost a year, not since Graduation, and they had made plans to finally meet up._

"_Hey Harry!" they both replied, slightly embarrassed by the same outburst._

_A young waitress came over and took their orders, collecting the menus. "So, how's life with Cho working out?" Ron asked with a mischievous smile._

"_Erm…good." Harry replied._

_Hermione began to tap her finger nails on the table._

"_Are you actually serious about her, or are you ready to drop her as soon as she has a sobbing breakdown?" Ron asked again._

_Harry scratched the back of his neck and avoided their eyes for a second._

_By doing so, he missed the flicker of hope in Hermion's eyes._

"_Well, I was gonna wait until the end of the evening to tell you guys this…but we're engaged. And no, Ron, I'm in love with her."_

_And he missed her brown eyes grow dull as she listened for the rest of the conversation._

O0o0O0o0O

_Harry sat on his front porch, frustrated with the course of his life. He had just had another fight with Cho about his faithfulness. My god, that woman was a walking insecurity!_

_He sighed heavily as he rested his forehead in his palm. They had been married for three years, and often fought over trivial things like that. He had wanted to start a family with her, and she was practically repelling him off with bitter accusations._

_But after, she'd say she was sorry and apologize, they'd make love, and then the following week it would happen all over again. Two years ago they had found out that she was unable to bear children._

_That broke his heart._

_But he reminded himself constantly that he loved her, and that was all that mattered._

_He even gave up his best friends in the entire world to squelch some of her insecurities. Harry regretted that with his entire soul. She was insecure anyways. And he missed his friends so much._

_They probably hated him now._

_Sometimes he wished that he never married Cho, and had told Hermione how he felt. It just seemed more right than his current stressful life. But no matter how hard he wished, or how hard he prayed, he couldn't go back in time._

_A brown owl dropped off a letter within his lap and flew away._

_He opened it in confusion and his eyes grew large at the words before him._

_**Mr. Harry James Potter,**_

_**We are extremely sorry to inform you of Miss Hermione**_

_**Jane Granger's sudden death. Apparently it was a **_

**_suicidal inflicted upon by a muggle handgun. In her will,_**

_**she has requested to ask you to attend her funeral,**_

_**on behalf of all of your years of friendship, she **_

_**desperately pleads that you be there. The reading**_

_**of her will shall be read along with a personally**_

_**selected material. On behalf of her wishes, we**_

_**hope that you will be at her childhood home on the**_

**_twentieth of October to attend her funeral. _**

_**R. L. Bosworth, Attorney of Magical Law**_

O0o0O0o0O

Harry came to a stop in front of the Granger's house. Tears burned at the back of his eyes as he took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. Seconds passed before a middle aged woman answered the door, her familiar face contorted with great sadness and ache.

Her face seemed to have aged greatly over these few years.

Maybe it had been over these last few days.

"Oh, Harry dear," Hermione's mother sobbed, enveloping him within a tight hug. She led him inside. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were seated in their large living room. Bill, Charlie, Fred, George, Ron and Luna (his wife) and Ginny were there as well. He sat down next to them.

Ginny's eyes grew round. "Harry? Y-you're actually here?" she embraced him tightly, tears flowing down her face. Harry looked up at Ron. The red head nodded in acknowledgement and turned his head to stare at the front.

A coffin was propped up in the front next to a small altar. An old priest stood over in the corner of the room having a silent conversation with a man in a black suit. Harry guessed that the man was R.L. Bosworth, he held a briefcase in a firm grip.

The priest slowly walked up to the altar and cleared his throat.

"We are all here on behalf on the recent death of Hermione Jane Granger. She led a wonderful life no matter how short. A beloved daughter and friend, her radiance illuminated a whole room."

Harry looked down, that; was exactly true.

"In her will, Miss Granger had requested an informal funeral; she didn't want a two hour long ceremony. She has left Mr. Bosworth, her attorney, the words in which she wants read on this date." the old priest stepped aside and Mr. Bosworth spoke.

"It was in her wishes that Mrs. Weasley read this aloud."

Molly's eyes grew wide in shock. "If you would please come up here, Molly. But if you don't want to do it, then I suppose I could read it." he offered.

She shook her head and walked up to the small podium and began to read in a thick voice.

_**Dear Diary,**_

_**Today I have turned twenty-two years old. It has been a long time since I have actually felt joy. Don't get me wrong, I have friends, family, a place of my own, a good job; no it is a different reason why I feel as if life has no meaning. So, I will start at the beginning.**_

_**Eleven years ago, at age eleven I boarded the Hogwart's Express for the very first time. It was also the day that I met the two most important people in my life; Ron Weasley and Harry Potter.**_

Harry and Ron exchanged confused glances.

**_Hmm…looking back, I had been a show off, trying to make friends by my talent instead of my personality. They had eventually come to accept me for me, and I had been ecstatic. If you were to ask anyone about us, they would call us the Golden Trio, inseparable as they encountered numerous tasks against evil._**

**_Those were the best days of my life, actually. But then, diary, something unexpected happened in my Fourth Year. I had begun to feel more than friendly feelings toward one of my best friends, though it took me many nights to figure it out._**

Harry and Ron exchanged glances again.

Harry's heart was wildly beating within his chest.

_**In fact, I had been so frustrated about the situation, I actually wrote a poem about it. I'll explain after I tell you the poem.**_

_At night sometimes I wonder_

_What these feelings are for you._

_I blush at your 'brotherly' smile;_

_My heart stops at your platonic touch._

_Your life has been filled with sorrow and hate;_

_And all I want to do is fill you with joy._

_Though in the darkness of evening;_

_I seethe at your happiness given by **her**._

_I toss and turn trying to understand;_

_What are these feelings I hold towards you?_

_And then it hit me hard and fast;_

_I loved you, I loved…you, my best friend._

_I walk in your shadow hoping and praying,_

_That these painful feelings will go away._

_For, I know they won't be returned;_

_And my sisterly image could never win your love._

_So I lay here in the late hours after dark;_

_Tear drops silently staining my face._

_I hate you and love you, _

_I'm so torn up._

_But then your lopsided smile enters my mind;_

_Your caring words and gestures, your beautiful eyes._

_A secret love I feel for my best of friends;_

_I know you love me; not as I do, but for now it is enough._

_**I had found myself in love with Harry Potter.**_

Harry's eyes widened.

_**And at the time, I guess it was enough. But as the years passed, and eventually we all parted, it never was. I felt an emptiness inside my heart. Something was missing and I knew exactly what.**_

**_And then we made plans to meet up; the Golden Trio, a year after Graduation. My heart literally stopped as he walked through the restaurant door, a brilliantly handsome smile lighting up his face._**

**_But then he dropped the bombshell, diary. He told Ron and I that he and Cho were to be married. Those words shattered my heart, and I knew nothing would ever be the same._**

_**Cho Chang was certainly a nice girl. She was pretty, athletic, and sharp. But most of all, she had guts. She had more guts than my Gryffindor self. And in the end, that was what mattered.**_

_**But one thing about Cho, was that she was very emotional. She had insecurities about Harry's relationship with me, and it had come down to her love, or my friendship. Who could blame a guy for choosing love? I certainly didn't.**_

**_This empty void has overcome me, and I feel nothing now. I'm numb. I live on a schedule to keep me alive but I'm dead inside, diary, and I know this. And it has come to me that I will never be alive again._**

**_I've decided to have this passage read at my funeral, to show what a coward was too frightened to show. I love you Harry James Potter, and I always will. Please don't feel as if any of this is your fault, for it is mine. Like I said a long time ago, there are more important things than books and knowledge. Friendship and bravery._**

_**But today, I will add to my statement. Love. And even if you have never felt the same way about me; it's alright. I have accepted that a long time ago. Please lead a happy life, Harry. I'll always be up here watching over you…and everyone else I love.**_

**_Never forget me,_**

**_Hermione_**

Molly set the sheets of parchment down and looked over at Harry. In fact, everyone was staring at him.

He took no notice as he stared ahead, slumping to the floor.

Sobs escaped his lips as he curled into himself.

_What had he done? Hermione felt no need to live without him. Hell, she even would have settled for his damn pathetic friendship! That would have kept her here on this earth, here with him!_

_With him._

_Where he had always wanted her to be._

O0o0O0o0O

Ronald Weasley was a twenty six year old caring guy. Never in a million years could he have guessed the fate of the Golden Trio. Along with care, he also contained naivety, and dammit, he wished he could have gone back in time and fixed things.

But he couldn't no matter how hard he wished it so.

Today was the fourth anniversary of Hermione's death.

It was also two days short of the fourth anniversary of the day that his best friend, the Boy-Who-Lived, the very soul who defeated the greatest evil of all time, Harry Potter; had been checked into St. Mungo's Ward for the Mentally Unstable. Ron was actually on his way to visit his friend now, not a week went by when Ron hadn't visited Harry three times. Too bad that Harry never noticed his presence.

And today was the fourth anniversary of his twins' birth.

He named them Jane and James.

Life was so screwed up.

October would never ever feel the same.

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**Wow, I'm on a roll! Third story posted within twenty four hours! Well, this is a oneshot...but anyways, I think that I'm going to try to write a happy fic for once. My stories might actually convince someone that I was constantly depressed! Which is not true, I guess I just write good sad stories? Please review and tell me what you think. Feed my ego! Or deflate it...your choice! **

**O0o Midnight Ryder o0O**


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